The real cost of staying silent on mental health struggles

Have you ever told yourself to tough it out when your mind was screaming for a break? Or hesitated to admit you were struggling, even to someone close? That’s stigma in action—and it’s more common than we think.

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, this post is for the ones silently coping. The ones who feel like they need permission to talk about what they’re feeling. The truth is, you’re not weak for needing support. You’re human.

Why this matters

Mental health stigma refers to the deeply ingrained beliefs, attitudes, and judgments—both from others and ourselves—that keep people silent, ashamed, or afraid to seek help. Sometimes it sounds like “I should be able to handle this.” Other times it’s “I don’t want people to think less of me.”

Stigma keeps people suffering in silence. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, more than half of people with mental illness don’t receive treatment—often because of fear, shame, or misunderstanding.

When we buy into stigma, even subtly, we delay healing. We isolate. We push through when we should be resting. We call ourselves weak for needing care.

 

How stigma shows up in everyday life

Stigma isn’t always loud or cruel. Sometimes it’s quiet, polite, and persistent. It shows up in conversations we avoid, help we don’t ask for, and the way we judge ourselves for not being “resilient enough.”

In personal life

• You minimize what you’re going through: “It’s not that bad.”

• You compare your struggle to others and downplay your pain.

• You feel like asking for help means you’ve failed.

The hormonal system

When your body is constantly producing cortisol (the stress hormone), it throws off your hormonal balance. You may feel wired but tired, struggle with sleep, gain weight around your middle, or have irregular periods. Long term cortisol imbalance can also affect thyroid function.

In the Workplace 

• You avoid taking mental health days because you fear being seen as unreliable.

• You hesitate to speak up about burnout or anxiety.

• You internalize stress until it affects your performance.

Common Mental Health Beliefs and Their Impact

Common Belief	Impact on Life	Impact on Work
“If I need therapy, I must be broken.”	Avoidance of care, shame, prolonged suffering	Loss of focus, emotional fatigue, isolation
“I should be able to handle this myself.”	Emotional suppression, disconnection from support systems	Overcommitment, burnout, lack of collaboration
“Everyone else is coping better than me.”	Low self-esteem, constant comparison, loneliness	Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear of feedback
“Talking about it will make things worse.”	Repression, worsening anxiety or depression	Reduced productivity, lack of trust in teams
“My problems aren’t serious enough for support.”	Delayed intervention, normalization of chronic stress	Resentment, disengagement, low morale

What Do I Do About It?

If you have internalized any of these beliefs, you’re not alone. Awareness is just the first step. From there, we practice rewriting the script—gently, one moment at a time.

Setting the scene:

Find a moment of quiet. This isn’t about solving everything at once. It’s about starting where you are. Keep a journal or notes app handy. Breathe. Be honest with yourself, without judgment.

Step by step guide:

1. Name the messages you’ve absorbed

What were you taught—directly or indirectly—about emotions, therapy, or asking for help? Write them down. Start identifying what’s yours and what you’ve inherited.

2. Reframe one belief

Pick one thought and rewrite it. Below is a guide to help:

Negative Belief	Realistic Counter-Belief
“Everyone else has it together but me.”	“Many people struggle, even if they don’t show it.”
“I should be able to fix this alone.”	“Support is a smart and necessary part of healing.”
“It’s not serious enough to need help.”	“I don’t have to wait until it’s unbearable to care for myself.”
“If I were stronger, I wouldn’t feel this way.”	“Strength is acknowledging what I feel and choosing to care for it.”
“Talking about it makes me a burden.”	“Sharing invites connection, not judgment.”

3. Say it out loud or write it somewhere visible

Repeat it to yourself when that old belief shows up again. Practice until the new voice becomes more familiar than the old one.

4. Try a small act of self-advocacy

This could be telling someone you trust how you’re really doing, booking a therapy session, or setting a boundary around your time and energy.

5. Do one thing that supports your mental health

Take a slow walk, cancel something that drains you, or pause for 5 minutes with your hand on your chest. Choose presence over pressure.

6. Support others by breaking the silence

Mention mental health in everyday conversation. Ask someone how they’re really doing. Send a friend a reminder that they’re allowed to take care of themselves too.

Real life story: Jordan’s journey to self-acceptance

Jordan always prided himself on being the go-to person—strong, dependable, and always fine. But internally, he was unraveling. He started dreading work, avoiding friends, and waking up with a pit in his stomach. Still, he told no one. “I didn’t want to seem like I was falling apart,” he said.

It wasn’t until he broke down during a work meeting that he realized something had to change. Therapy scared him. It felt like admitting failure. But slowly, it became the first space where he didn’t feel judged. “It was the first time someone looked at me and didn’t expect me to keep it together,” he shared. Today, Jordan is still in therapy—and still strong. Just stronger in a more honest, sustainable way.

Combating stigma and misconception

• Needing help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you self-aware
• You don’t have to “earn” rest, care, or therapy.
• You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve support.
• Talking about your mental health may be uncomfortable—but it opens doors.

Every time one person shares their truth, it makes it easier for someone else to do the same.

Conclusion

Mental health stigma isn’t just about society’s opinions—it’s about the messages we’ve absorbed and repeat to ourselves. But you are not broken. You are not too much. And you are not alone. Healing begins the moment we stop hiding.

Call to Action

This Mental Health Awareness Month, choose one moment to show yourself some compassion. Say something out loud that you’ve kept hidden. Ask for support. Offer it to someone else. Little by little, you help make this world safer for others to do the same. You’re allowed to take up space, exactly as you are.

 

References

• Corrigan, P. W., & Watson, A. C. (2002). Understanding the impact of stigma on people with mental illness. World Psychiatry, 1(1), 16–20.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2023). Mental health by the numbers. https://www.nami.org/mhstats

• Hinshaw, S. P. (2007). The mark of shame: Stigma of mental illness and an agenda for change. Oxford University Press.

• American Psychological Association. (2020). Stigma. https://www.apa.org/topics/stigma

• Mental Health America. (2023). Stigma and mental illness. https://mhanational.org/stigma-and-mental-illness